knock knock jokes

☻knock knock who,s there Ken. Ken who?

ken you tell me some good knock knock jokes!

☻knock knock who,s there Luke. Luke who? 

Luke out here comes another knock knock joke!

☻knock knock who,s there Harry. Harry who?

Harry up and answer the door.

☻knock knock who,s there Beef. Beef who?

before I get mad you better let me in!

☻knock knock who,s there Owl. Owl who?

Owl tell me more knock knock jokes!   

☻knock knock who,s there Dawn. Dawn who?

Dawn by station, early in the morning!

☻knock knock who,s there Window. Window who?

Window I will get my cellphone!

☻knock knock who,s there Turnip. Turnip who?

Turn up the heat it,s cold. 

☻knock knock who,s there Were is. Were is who?

Who is on first base! 

☻knock knock who,s there Rufus. Rufus who?

your roof is on fire!

Halloween jokes

☻Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? 
 It had no guts.


☻What did Dracula say when he kissed his vampire girlfriend?
Ouch. 


☻How do monsters tell their future?
They read their horrorscope.


☻What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.


☻Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? 
 No, they eat the fingers separately.

☻Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town? 
 Because they don't have any body to go out with.

☻What do ghosts add to their morning cereal? 
 Booberries.

☻What do zombies like to eat at a cook out? 
 Halloweenies.

☻What is a vampire's favourite sport? 
 casket-ball.

Christmas jokes

☻what bird can right?
a pen-guin.

☻What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective ?
 Santa Clues!

☻What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
 It's Christmas, Eve.


☻Why does Santa Claus like to work in the garden?
 Because he like to hoe, hoe, hoe!

☻What happened when the snowwoman got angry at the snowman?
She gave him the cold shoulder.

☻What do snowmen wear on their heads?
ice caps.

☻How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?
Fleece Navidad!

☻What is a snowman's favorite lunch?
 An Iceberger!

☻What do vampires put on their Christmas turkey?


A. Grave-y

wild jokes

☻What do monkeys like to do?
they like to hang out with their friends.

☻Why did the chicken cross the road?
to get to the other side.

☻What do you call a cow with no legs?
ground beef.

☻Why do zebras have stripes?
because the spots were all over.

☻Who pulled out this tree root?
me of course, says the mouse, but the elephant helped a bit.

☻Sir, how come your pig has only tree legs?
because I used only one leg for the stock.

☻Why do dogs always stick their tongue out?
so they can balance they're tail. 

school jokes

☻Why did the school kid bring a later to school?
because the school kid wanted to go to high school.

☻What did the book say to the pencil?
your looking sharp to day.

☻Why was the head teacher worried?
Because there were so many rulers in the school.

☻Do you like Dr Seuss?
I didn't know he made house calls.

☻My father gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday.
I couldn't find the words to thank him.

☻Why are you holding your textbook up to the window?
You told me to open it up to the Middle East.

☻What is the difference between a teacher and a steam train? The first goes “Spit out that chewing gum immediately!” and the second goes “chew chew”!